My husband and I moved from Nebraska to Kansas almost five years ago.
Moved to a place where we literally knew 2 people in the city of 20,000.
I grew up in a small town in Nebraska where I knew just about everyone and just about everyone knew me so this was a new experience for me.
I went to College at UNK in Nebraska and even though I didn’t know a ton of people I saw many familiar faces almost daily and over the course of 4 1/2 years made many good friends. The kind of friends you could do anything with, talk about anything with and felt very comfortable with.
When we first moved here I hated Hays. We didn’t have a lot of money so we lived in not the best part of town. If I’m being completely honest I thought the people were weird, I thought the town was kind of dumpy and I ached for Nebraska.
We opened up our business soon after we moved here and that kept us extremely busy for a long time. Then I didn’t miss Nebraska because time didn’t allow me to.
And now, 4 years later we have a beautiful home, 2 beautiful girls, an amazing church & small group, some good friends, 2 thriving businesses but there’s still part of my heart that aches. Over the last few years I’ve come to embrace Hays. I’ve realized the people are just the same as they are in Nebraska. The town is actually really nice. It’s a great place to raise a family and I feel safe here.
So why some days do I wish so bad that we could just pick up and move back?
I’ve recently realized that this is part of my issue: I’ve went from being a “somebody” to being a “nobody”.
In Nebraska I have family and friends scattered throughout. Here in Kansas…..not so much.
Many people know my husband and I in Nebraska. Know me, my family, my husband, his family. And here…… well some people know us but they don’t REALLY know us…. get what I mean?
I know so many people who move far away from home to places miles and miles away and embrace and love it and are as happy as ever.
So why can’t I?
I don’t want it to come off that I’m unhappy here. Unhappy isn’t the right word…..restless more describes how I feel.
I’m happy but restless.
Maybe it’s because there’s always been the next big thing coming up for us and right now there’s not.
We got married, 6 months later moved to Hays, 1 month later opened up our business, built a house within the first 7 months of our business being open, had a baby 9 months later, talked about opening up a 2nd business, had another baby, soon after opened up another business 4 1/2 hours away and now there is nothing big to look forward to, to be worried about.
“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.”
Why is this so hard to do? So many times in the Bible it says to simply, “Be Still” but I rarely do this.
I don’t know all the answers to my questions. God knows but not me. God has a plan for my family and I. Whether that is continuing to live in Kansas or Nebraska or Timbuktu….. I’m not so sure.
So for now I will work on “being still” and enjoying this life God gave me…whether I’m in Nebraska or Kansas. Because when it really comes down to it, my life is pretty good and God has blessed me with more blessings than I could ever deserve.