I’ve never been a morning person. I think I was the absolute worst in high school. Literally getting out of bed 10 minutes before I had to be at school. Sorry mom. But recently I heard someone say, “If you aren’t a morning person, I suggest you become one.” I’ve made excuses all these years of not having the time to exercise because I’m too busy throughout the day with my daughters and too tired in the evenings. And mornings were not an option because I just simply wasn’t a morning person until I decided I would now be one.
We have an almost 1 year old black golden-doodle, named Shadow. Shadow has a lot of gusto. A lot of zest. A lot of spirit. For the last few weeks I’ve been rising before the sun comes up and I take Shadow on a 2 mile walk. Well, actually let me re-phrase that. The first few times, Shadow took ME on a walk. A very fast walk. Not a very enjoyable one. Matt quickly bought him a head halter collar and that was a game changer. Where the head goes, the body follows; just like a horse! Our walks have been much more enjoyable since. I’m the one leading the way, not him, although he still tries at times.
This morning though was a little bit of a different story. We made our way down the sidewalk when across the road came an owner with a beautiful husky. They made their way to us and as the dogs crossed paths, Shadow freaked out. As the beautiful husky trotted away calmly with his owner, I found myself basically lying on the pavement, holding back Shadow who had somehow gotten out of his head halter. He barked and pulled and I pulled back with all my might. Eventually I got the halter back on and realized I gave Shadow a little too much slack. He just wasn’t ready. I twisted the leash around my hand, tightening up my grip, and we went on our way.
And in that moment, God showed me that’s like Him and me. I want to go here or go there. I want to buy this thing or that. I want to chase after this thing that I think will bring me joy. I want freedom. I want to do what I want when I want. I want to pull and tug until I get my way.
But just like I pull back Shadow to keep him from harm’s way, God does the same for me.
I don’t understand sometimes. Why am I not getting what I want? Why is God not allowing this to happen? Why didn’t I get that job? That promotion? That thing? Why did this bad thing happen? Why would a God who loves me allow this to happen? Why is He holding me back when all I want to do is go?
Just like Shadow will never understand that the reason I am holding him back is because of my love for him and for his own good, I will maybe never understand reasons why God doesn’t give me what I want.
The bunny across the street looks tempting and delicious. And if caught, it would bring temporary satisfaction and joy to Shadow. But Shadow doesn’t see the truck coming down the road at 40 mph. He doesn’t see the semi that can’t stop at a moment’s notice. He doesn’t see the danger.
And I don’t see things that God sees.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God isn’t out to get me and I’m not out to get Shadow. He’s not trying to make my life miserable or not allowing me to have fun. He is watching over me, protecting me, guiding me. It’s my choice if I will listen and obey, just like Shadow.
As Shadow and I continued our walk, we passed 2 more dogs, and the same thing happened. Except this time I was able to stay up on my two feet. I got frustrated and tightened the collar more and gave as little slack as I could the rest of the way home. I sat on my front porch steps, Shadow panting beside me, and I knew the rest of our walks from now on, I would give him little to no slack until he could show me he would listen and obey. It made me sad because I desire to give him some freedom. I want him to be able to explore a little bit and not be kept so tightly next to me but he must learn.
Just like Shadow, I am tested. Do I always pass the test? No. But God still loves me, just like I still love Shadow. Like Shadow, the more tests I pass, the more freedoms God will give me. I envision years from now, as more wrinkles make their way across my face, that I will be walking Shadow down the same sidewalk. No head halter collar will be needed. I will give him slack and freedom. But instead of making his way this way and that, he will be right next to me. No pulling. No tugging. No struggling.
And I hope for me, it’s the same way with God. I will stay close by his side, listening and obeying. Not struggling, pulling and tugging.
And I hope the same for you.
“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.” A psalm of David.
