When you pray in a certain area of your life that you struggle with whether it’s impatience, insecurity, anger, etc.; does it feel like you battle even more with it than prior to praying? Numerous situations seem to pop up left and right in this area, like the game Whac-A-Mole. You take your mallet and smack the moles but they just keep coming and coming and coming. You’re faced with new hardships, new challenges and you ask yourself, “Where is God?”, and, “Why isn’t he taking this away?” “Why isn’t he helping me? Why do things feel worse? Why are my prayers not being answered?”
In my life I’ve struggled with various things, as we all do. Needing other’s approval has been something I’ve battled with since I was a little girl. That paired together with insecurity created a battlefield. A war within myself, fighting to gain perfectionism that was just out of reach. But every time I lost the battle, the other side won, because there is no one on this earth who is perfect. It’s an illusion, a mirage. Jesus was and is the only one who will ever walk on this earth sinless and perfect in every way.
It amazes me how far I’ve come with God’s help. No longer do I struggle quite like I used to in the years behind me but the temptation of that battle still rears it’s ugly head at times. I have prayed for years, hundreds of times, for God to rid me of my feelings and emotions when it comes to this area of my life, to take away situations that make me feel insecure and unapproved of. Lately, I’ve came to a realization; God is never going to protect me from rejection or un-approval. God is never going to take away my feelings and emotions. Because what is life without those things? To feel nothing is to be dead inside. To have no struggles, creates no growth. To not have hard things happen to me, creates a lack of empathy for others.
I am going to “feel” whether I want to or not. What I do with those feelings is what matters. When I’m feeling down about something, do I feed into those thoughts that force their way in. “You’re not good enough.” “Why are you the way you are?” “What is wrong with you?” “You have messed up big time.” Do I let an avalanche of negative thoughts overtake me and let it snowball into something that it’s even not? Or do I battle? A battle that I can actually win; the prize not an illusion. “Be very careful about what you think, your thoughts run your life.” Proverbs 4:23 I can throw bombs at the other side with words of truth and choose to focus on positive thoughts/feelings. “And be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Controlling the mind is one of the toughest things to do. Years of habits takes years to change. The enemy, our world, and our own sinful nature can create havoc in us. Feelings and emotions rise in us and we can create imaginary truths. Are you ever in a situation where you can feel something so strongly but the next morning wake up and realize your thoughts were completely irrational? Realizing that our feelings can lie to us is an important truth we must know.
In the mess, in the battle, is where you do the growing. You ask for help in an area? God, more than likely, is going to put you into uncomfortable, hurtful situations that require you to struggle. It’s up to us if we choose to battle on and grow from it and move closer to victory, or to stay in our old ways of thinking. “You are being renewed in the spirit of your minds.” Ephesians 4:23
God is not going to keep me from hurt, from emotions and feelings, nor you. But God will help me deal with those things and speak truth into me. I have a choice. To battle for peace or stay where I am. It may be messy and uncomfortable, painful and lonely, but on the horizon there will be victory. The sun will shine, the pain subside and I will be victorious. Will you join me in the battle? Or stay where you are?
