I saw her- a woman I aspired to be like. In a white Yukon XL, dressed in the latest fashion trends (whatever they were back then), shiny blonde hair in a ponytail. She was pretty, put together, obviously had money, with a car full of kids in the back.

As I drove by her in my old green Yukon XL, with almost 200,000 miles on it, unknown substances stuck to the old tan carpet and an AC that on a good day put out semi-kind of cold air- I longed for her life.

It was literally a moment that lasted no longer than 10 seconds but that moment has been imprinted in my mind ever since. It’s funny how quickly our minds can come to conclusions about someone in a matter of seconds. Maybe some truth to them but really, we never know their whole story.

Maybe her husband drank too much. Maybe she struggled with anxiety or depression, or both. Maybe she had a hard childhood or had lost a parent. Just because she drove a nice white Yukon didn’t mean that money wasn’t tight at times. Maybe she struggled with knowing her purpose or at times felt joyless. Maybe her house was a mess and dirty dishes littered her sink. Maybe there was unknown substances stuck to her floor of her Yukon as well, not in sight for me to see.

She looked beautiful, shiny and like her life was all together but really, I had no idea. And honestly- who in this life really has all their stuff together? I smile and shake my head at the naivety I had back then.

The irony of it all is, I, now drive a shiny white Yukon XL. Typically my hair is done, makeup applied and I like to think I dress somewhat in style. My AC blows out crisp, cold air and it is magnificent. My backseat is piled with little girls.

But I don’t have it all together. My girls fight. A lot. Money is tight at times. My sink is full of dirty dishes and my wood floors are covered in grime and dog hair. I get angry, anxious and sad. At times I question my purpose in this life. I can get jealous and envious. I focus on the wrong things. I get caught up in this world and overspend. I worry. I fret. I make many mistakes.

So- to my younger self- on that sunny day, as you drove past that blonde haired woman, who seemed to have it all together – know she did not and probably still doesn’t. And neither will you. You will someday be driving that same vehicle- and while you greatly appreciate the cold air and heated seats, your life will still be hard at times and there will still be unknown substances stuck to the bottom of your vehicle floor. Such is life.