I was sulking. Popping peanut m&m’s into my mouth at a world record rate, I’m sure. The last week had been full of sickness, expensive car repairs, messes and throw up in a toilet that recently stopped working. Saturday was busy with soccer, groceries and sleepovers. My feet, donned in Adidas tennis shoes, didn’t stop moving much of the day. I gave and gave and gave; joyfully, I might add.
And then Sunday came. Girls were toted home and it was time for “weekend chores” and getting our lives in order. The day didn’t go quite as I expected. Melt downs and tears. Arguments. Expectations not being met (mostly mine).
As I popped another peanut m&m into my mouth, I thought to myself how underappreciated I was. I felt myself getting resentful- my family has no idea how hard I work for them, how much of my time & energy I put into life for THEM. The peanut m&m’s flew faster and faster, as I vowed to “show them”. My self pity off the richter scale. Somber violin music playing in my mind.
This morning, still feeling a bit slighted, and totally regretting how many peanut m&m’s I ate in 1 sitting the day before- I opened my devotional and I read this:
“Whatever it is that we do we have the capacity, responsibility & opportunity to give our all and our best. Even when we feel UNDERAPPRECIATED, we can be sure that Jesus never misses anything.” Cleerly Stated
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath – this was no coincidence that I read this passage on this morning. Jesus sees all. And while we may never get the praise & honor we desire- that should not be what drives us to do what we do. For we will always be let down if that is our driving force.
God calls us to excellence. To gratitude. To joy. Not self pity. Not self loathing. And not a family size bag of peanut m&m’s.
Thank God for His grace. And for this reminder, this morning, that He sees all and THAT should be my driving force in all I do.
Thank you God for the gift of being a mom & a wife.
