I took the good night stories, clean sheets, dinners on the table by 6 pm, my black and white uniform hung up on a plastic hanger-ready for me in my light green room every game day- for granted. The tuck me in’s, play a game with me, be in the stands cheering me on was my normal. A safe, warm home, support, discipline and guidance part of my everyday life.
As I’ve aged and matured-my naivety slipping away, I have realized how lucky I truly am. Life does not play favorites. Pain, hard circumstances and tears are all part of our journeys, no matter how good or bad we are. But I was one of the lucky ones- having 2 parents who loved me and always put my sisters and me first.
I think of my Grandma and am sad I never thanked her for raising a kindhearted woman. For I realized it too late. For teaching and showing her what taking care of a family looks like. What non-judgement and gentleness can do. How a warm smile, encouragement, a song of, “There she is… Miss America”, sang to me as I waltzed down her stairs still sticks with me to this day. Me rolling my eyes and acting annoyed but inside my heart beaming as I came down on tan carpet.
As I raise my own 4 girls and embark upon hard circumstances, pain, tears, regrets, fears and such- I realize how good of a job my mom and dad did. In my adolescence I saw what I was without- but now- I see what I all had. I smile as I think back to horseback rides with my dad on my favorite horse, Scooter, watching him team-pen with his friends, showing me what hard work was, my mom taking us girls up to McCook for our “weeks” and buying us a candy bar and package of gum, shucking corn and throwing it in our bathtub to clean it- getting it ready to freeze for the winter. My mom tucking me in- Christmas sheets always put on our beds during the holidays, her taking the time to read me a “puberty book” even though she had 5 other kids she was taking care of. Dinners around the table- my mom always on my left, my dad on my right. Kelcie to my side who loved to put her feet on my chair and annoy me. I think back to afternoons spent in the pasture with Krista, my partner in crime. We roamed the countryside oblivious to how hard life can be. Taking care of Kimberlyn and the twins- Kimberlyn’s infectious personality and ornery smile. The twins’ sweet demeanor, their curly blonde hair and how I loved helping my mom take care of them.
We were given the privilege of being kids. Bruised knees, sun tanned skin, meat and potatoes on the table, time to imagine and dream, opportunities at our feet, help with our homework and a mom and dad to go to- a gift that not every one gets.
So thank you, Grandma. If you can see this or maybe you know somehow up in Heaven that I’m writing this- I want to thank you for raising a wonderful woman. One of the strongest women I know. Who taught me how to love, how to treat others and how to be a mom. I love you.
xoxo Kayla
