Life can be hard. But it can also be wonderful. It is filled with magical, soulful moments, beauty and love and goodness, mixed with laughter, the kind that makes you cry, and lots of joy. So much joy.
The hard parts of life will happen to you in one way or another. You’ll be left out, uninvited, misunderstood, broken up with and laughed at. In those moments your heart will ache and you’ll begin to start asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” You might try to change who you are to try to make those experiences not happen again. But can I let you in on a little secret? No matter who you are, what you wear, whether your hair is blonde or brown, you are quiet or loud, you are in band or a cheerleader, whether you kiss the boy or not, there will be someone out there who doesn’t like you. You can’t and wont escape this fact. No one ever has and the sooner you accept this, the better. So PLEASE, don’t trade your authenticity for approval. Please don’t tone down or change the beautiful, unique parts of yourself. You’ll be tempted, for sure, but please try to resist.
Middle school is an awkward time. Cliques will form. Braces will be worn (sorry, Dad and I both had to have them). You may experiment with makeup; white lipstick and frosty blue eyeshadow are not a good combo. Ever. Or on their own for that matter; I know from experience. You might start to actually like the boys you once thought were gross and annoying. Try not to worry about who is friends with who, it can unfortunately change on a weekly basis during these years. Be friends with people who make you feel good about yourself, who are kind. If you have to constantly try to impress or “beg” for someone’s friendship, they aren’t worth your time. YOU get to choose who you are friends with, always remember that. Study when needed. Be kind to everyone. Try not to gossip. And at this point, you still may not have a phone even though all your friends do. Have you ever thought of writing a note to communicate? Like with a pencil and paper? Will they still have pencils and paper in school at this time? Regardless, if you don’t have a phone, don’t fret, one will probably be coming soon.
Highschool can be fun but also some of those hard things from middle school might and probably will follow you. And congratulations you will probably have your first phone! And your first car! Dad will of course be the one to teach you how to drive. Not because he’s a better driver but more so the fact I know I am not cut out for things of this nature. Wear your seatbelt. Always. Even if your friends don’t. Crank your music high but not too high. Don’t think you’re invincible. You are not. And you are not a great driver either. 99% of teenagers aren’t. Find what you are passionate about and go for it. Try new things. Keep trying til’ you find something that sparks your spirit. Whether it’s volleyball, choir, math, or theatre, you do you. Don’t go out with a boy just because everyone else has a boyfriend. If you are somewhere and need a ride, no matter the reason, call me and I will come get you every single time. Be nice to your dad and I, we are doing our best. And give your mom (me) a break. Try not to roll your eyes at me, slam your bedroom door, and tell me you wish you had Sara’s mom because she’s, “cool”, and I am not. These things probably will take place but just know I am cooler than Sara’s mom and you’ll realize this later in life. (Someday we will be bff’s if you can believe it!) And also, I did these things as a teenager as well and it’s ok. Go to the dance and actually dance. Laugh with your friends. And don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. You aren’t going to be perfect, you will mess up and embarrass yourself. Laugh it off and don’t be too hard on yourself. Talk to someone if you are struggling, even if it’s not me. Eat the food. For real, enjoy all the bread and carbs your heart desires. You’ll be eating a lot less of it when you’re in your 30’s. Don’t tan in tanning beds. (Maybe only for prom.) Enjoy your senior year and don’t be in too much of a rush to move on with your life.
I hope you fail. Hundreds of times. (Maybe not your math test.) But I want you to fail because that means you are living, you’re trying something new and pushing yourself. Life is made up of countless mistakes. You’ll make many. But during these times you will learn. You will grow and gain wisdom. And realize it takes some guts and grit to accomplish anything worthwhile in life. And that is irreplaceable.
Talk to God. Get to know Him and His word. For it is life giving and the truth you need to hear. It may not seem like the “cool” thing to do but it’s actually unquestionably “cool”. The world will try to talk you out of this truth but hold on tight to it. Your worth comes from Him, always remember this. I will always try my best to show you an example of a strong, God-loving woman, but will fail more times than not I’m sure.
I don’t know where this life will take each one of you but I can’t wait to see what each of you do and who you become. My hope is that you laugh more than you cry, you feel confident in who you are, not because of what you look like or what you do, but because you are God’s child, and that you know you are so loved. I’ll also let you in on another little secret; unfortunately as you get older, you will still deal with hard things. With cliques, bad makeup choices, insecurities, and embarrassing moments and some even more difficult things will come each of your way. And I hope during those times, when life gets hard (because it will), you pick up the phone and call me. Because I’ll always be here for you, I am your biggest fan, whether you realize it now or not and I love you more than you can even imagine.
And if you don’t want to call, you can always pick up a pencil and paper and write me a note.
Love, Mom
